Safety

Tips to Stay Safe When Meeting Someone Online

Online dating is one of the biggest reasons why people in today’s world tend to meet someone online. You will be able to go ahead and apply these tips for all the other situations, which you can follow to ensure your safety, without compromising it. Most people believe that dating is fun. Yes, it can be fun, if you know how to play the game while staying within the safe zone. If you go out of the safe zone, there is a high possibility for you
to end up with a distasteful experience. The following 9 safety tips should be kept in mind if you are meeting online, so keep these in mind before you go out on your new adventure.

1. Don’t give out your number It would be tempting to give away your number at the earliest possible opportunity, but you should think twice before giving your private information. If you give your phone number to a tech-savvy individual, that person can gain access to all your personal and sensitive information in a blink of an eye. Moreover, you need to be careful about your other personal details as well. Giving your email address can also create similar situations.
Therefore, you should be careful not to expose something that can reveal personal and sensitive information about you.

2. Choose public places – You should use your mind and common sense to find an appropriate dating venue. It would be a good idea to go ahead with a public venue such as a restaurant, mall, or downtown area for your first meetup. Other locations may sound tempting, but you need to give priority towards your safety. If possible, you can think about going on a group date. It would be fun to have a friend watch out for awkward situations, and the more, the merrier.

3. Travel on your own – You should not always rely on someone else when you are traveling to a new location. The person whom you are meeting might invite you to go to an isolated place. You are not encouraged to accept that invitation. If you do, you would be risking your safety.

4. Don’t leave food unattended – If you are meeting at a restaurant, your food will be delivered to the table. After your food or beverages are served, you should be careful if you leave the table. If you want to go to the washroom, you should do it before the food arrives or you can wait a bit until you finish your meals. Then you can make sure that the person you date doesn’t add anything to what you consume. If that person can add substances to your food, you may face a variety of
negative consequences in the long run.

5. Try to meet with people nearby – You are aware of the people in your area up to a certain extent. Hence, you can think about meeting people nearby in your community. Since your search is local, there is a high possibility for you to meet someone you know as well.

6. Don’t drink too much alcohol – Who knows what would happen to you if you drink too much alcohol. Therefore, you are encouraged not to drink too much. If possible, you should refrain from more than one delicious cocktail. Drinking can be fun, but it’s better if you’re around people you trust. You can still enjoy your date, but be mindful of what is going on around you.

7. Do your own research – You can search the internet for the person that you are meeting to see whether they are a real person or not. If you cannot find anything related to their personal life, there’s something fishy, and you should be aware of it. Social media is a popular place to start.

8. Lying isn’t the best idea
Trusting someone you don’t know is hard, and it may even be safer to assume that your date is inflating their ego to impress you. It is a common dating technique, but it may be a terrible shame if you both end up talking about something that isn’t a reality. If you are misrepresenting yourself, you are increasing the possibility of having the other person lie as well. This is not the best way to approach to meeting someone and gaining their trust.

9. Always ensure your protection
Self-defence can help keep you safe. Should the need arise, don’t hesitate to scream or shout   or alert the restaurant or coffee shop staff, use a personal alarm please remember your personal safety always comes first.

10 Dating Do’s and Don’ts From 6 Therapists

Looking for a tip or two on how to tackle the dating scene?
Here, the advice IS coming from actual experts and in this case, six bona fide therapists!
Tips from Dr. Jamie Long, Psy.D.

1. DON’T convince yourself you only have one “type.”  DO widen your definition of a compatible mate. Open yourself to the possibility that you can fall in love with someone who doesn’t perfectly meet the criteria that you believe is your ideal or particular “type.”2. DON’T be overly critical or judgmental.
DO approach others with curiosity, kindness, and compassion. Premature dismissals of someone are a one-way ticket to overlooking a potentially great love match.3. DON’T come on too strong! Watch yourself for behaviors that could be constured as needy, desperate, unstable, or otherwise undesirable.
DO respect the natural progression of intimacy. Telling a potential mate how much you really, really like them adds a lot of unnecessary pressure!
Instead, gradually reveal your inner thoughts, feelings, and personal story starting with light and casual then progressing to deeper self-disclosures.
4. DON’T forget the traditional rules of dating.
DO be a gentlemen/lady. Some rules of dating have stood the test of time.
Yes, we live in a modern world in which women can pay for themselves and open their own door. Still, it’s nice when the man presents himself as a gentleman.

Tips from  Dr. Kate Campbell, Ph.D., LMFT
5. DON’T be overly influenced by expectations of family and friends such as, “Does she/he have the desired financial/educational status?”
Do find a balance with considering the opinions of others, while staying in touch with your own intuition regarding who is a compatible match for you.
When you acknowledge your wants and needs, it’s more likely you’ll land a lasting relationship. Ditch the long laundry list written by everyone else, but you!

Tips from  Dr. Gina Marchando, DMFT, LMFT, CHt
6. DON’T get lost talking about yourself and your past, including the mistakes, heartaches, who you were ten years ago or even in your last relationship. When getting to know someone in a new relationship, they
want to know who you are today not how you were in a past relationship or lifetime.
DO talk about yourself as who you are today in the present and the values and goals you have for yourself in the future.
7. DON’T monopolize the conversation or make yourself the highlight real, no one healthy or worthwhile being in a relationship with is interested in getting into a coupleship with a narcissist.
DO make the conversation reciprocal, be inquisitive and show your interest in getting to know the other person.

Tips from Rebekah Doweyko, LMHC
8. DON’T alter who you are to fit what you think your love interest wants/needs. When we alter who we are and portray values that are not our own, we attract people we were never meant to attract, therefore the relationship is doomed before it begins.
DO present yourself authentically. It is much easier than putting forth the energy required to pretend.

Tips from Kristina Fecik, MFT
9. DON’T complain about your lack of luck with love.
DO keep in mind that dating isn’t easy for anyone, no matter where you live. You can blame your location, the ratio of singles to couples, or even the weather. Bottom line, our attitude is more likely to create opportunities for us. Leave your carry-on luggage packed full of negativity at baggage
claim.

Tips from  Dr. Corinne Scholtz, Ph.D., LMFT
10. DON’T stop pursuing new hobbies and other life experiences just because you’ve found a partner. Be cautious of giving up or limiting the time you spend doing things for “you”, whether this be exercise, the beach, reading, cooking, spending time with friends, etc.  Finding a romantic
connection can be so exciting and exhilarating that it’s easy to lose sight of life before meeting this person.
DO practice balancing “you” time with “couple” time from the very beginning of the relationship. Evaluate each situation and decide when the needs of the couple are a priority and vice versa, decide when your individual needs are a priority.

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